phyllis | Her Mentor Center

Author Archives: phyllis

The Sibling Bond and Aging Parents

by phyllis, May 19, 2012

We just got home from the Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina and a reunion with my husband’s brothers and their wives. Visiting with family always reminds me of how the internal scripts and imprinted patterns that shape us continue their impact throughout our lives. I guess a broad range of emotions weave the tapestry of family life for all of us. Like the sagas of Cain and Abel or Rachel and Leah, stories about sibling bonds are fascinating. Archetypal tales interest us because relationships with our own brothers and … Continue reading →

You, Your Difficult Mother and Mother’s Day

by phyllis, May 9, 2012

Perhaps you’re fed up with trying to win your mom’s approval and be accepted for who you are. Or you’re tired of feeling guilty and blaming yourself for the problems. Although we all want an emotionally healthy relationship with our mother, sometimes it’s not possible. Instead of trying to placate mom, understand that the anger is her problem and it’s not your responsibility to manage her emotions. Silence your self doubt. It’s not uncommon for insecurity to be the legacy of a difficult mother. Challenge your negative internal scripts and … Continue reading →

Posted in your self | Tagged difficult mothers, emotions, enouragement, guilt, mom, mother's day, Mother's Day gifts, relationships, self doubt, self love, support | Leave a comment

Difficult Moms and Mother’s Day

by phyllis, May 7, 2012

When we’re young, it’s mom who gratifies our needs and takes care of our hurts. But she is also the first one to impose control and set limits. As we grow, memories of this primary and most powerful relationship are imprinted deep in our psyche. It’s through attachments that we eventually learn who we are and what we feel. Some moms don’t acknowledge their kids as independent and set up coercive relationships with conditions on love and approval. In all stages of life, children with difficult mothers struggle with self … Continue reading →

Posted in your self | Tagged attachment, boundaries, difficult moms, disapproval, family, mother's day, relationships, self doubt | Leave a comment

Teen Daughters and Conversion Disorders

by phyllis, April 27, 2012

Are your daughters feeling the pressures of adolescence? Parents at Le Roy Junior-Senior High School in upstate New York are still concerned, months later, as their teens continue to experience verbal outbursts, involuntary movements and tics. Although Sigmund Freud first described this combination of symptoms as Mass Hysteria, the difficult to diagnose condition is now known as Conversion Disorder. It’s a rare condition with both psychological and neurological factors. These young women are left frustrated, behind in school and socially isolated. Not able to live a normal life, families want … Continue reading →