The phenomenon of adult children flying back to the nest has recently been called a favorable cultural shift. However, some moms in the midst of spreading their own wings are struggling with that reality. As we launch 2016, here are some practical tips to help navigate the transition:
Increase optimism. A positive mindset doesn’t diminish the fact that now you have a lot more responsibility and much less freedom. But changing your perspective and how you see these particular circumstances can alter your experience. In part, don’t we all create our own reality?
Be supportive. Talk to your Millennials about intentions instead of resolutions. Be patient and encourage them to make plans and take steps toward moving on. With no authority figure to rebel against, there may be less frustration or stress and more cooperation for everyone in the family.
Accept what is. Of course you’re reluctant to turn your new office back into a bedroom. The economy is improving. But with huge student loans and no way to pay the rent, are you willing to deal with the guilt of saying no? For ideas about improving communication, setting ground rules and resolving conflict, CLICK HERE.
Track progress. Encourage your kidults to list obstacles and stumbling blocks as well as their internal strengths and external resources. Journaling can help them stay grounded and motivated. By writing regularly, they’ll be more focused as they release mental toxins and deepen awareness.
Give it time. Be understanding as your boomerang kids open themselves to new possibilities. It can take months to gain confidence, find work and adjust to the demands of the job. But be sure to discuss an end date – most surveys indicate that living back home should not exceed one year.
Unrealistic expectations are a big obstacle to positive change. Instead, try to provide guidance as your offspring go about creating short-term objectives that will help them reach their ultimate goals. During this process, have them explore internships or do volunteer work as a step toward finding the career meant for them.
Before too long you’ll be re-feathering your empty nest. But in the meantime, you don’t have to do it alone. SIGN UP for our free monthly newsletter and LEARN more about our self help book, “Whose Couch Is It Anyway?”