Emotional Intimacy on Valentine’s Day


You may be overwhelmed with adult children-teenage Millennials or Boomerang Kids-living at home. And perhaps Valentine’s Day feels like just one more responsibility you have to take care of.

Are you trying to balance your personal life, work and family with little choice but to leave your love relationship on the back burner? Busy people under pressure often hurt the ones they love. These are not ideal circumstances as we approach the most romantic day of the year.

For some, February 14th is filled with expectations: thoughts of lavish gifts, expressions of love, romantic adventures. And for many, it’s also one more reason to end up feeling stressed, lonely or disappointed.

It’s easy to focus on the negatives – don’t nag, don’t be controlling, don’t overreact, don’t withhold sex. But positive reinforcement can help increase attraction, motivation and connection.

Below are LINKS to several of the Valentine blogs we’ve written over the years. CLICK ON THE BOLDED PHRASES for practical tips within each post. And if you apply some of these ideas, you may see positive changes just in time for Valentine’s Day:

Express gratitude. Saying thank you may sound simplistic, but it can help bring to mind your partner’s best qualities. Compliments can serve as mood elevators at times when you may be preoccupied with work and kids or taking each other for granted.

Try to compromise. Be direct, yet open and flexible as you make your way through disagreements. When you put yourself in your partner’s shoes and truly understand the other point of view, conflicts can resolve more quickly without so many lingering resentments.

Inject humor and laughter. Lightheartedness is often the first casualty of a hectic family life. Keep fun alive by joking around or sending silly texts. When you make time to be playful and engage with each other, it often leads to greater satisfaction and deeper intimacy.

Stay connected. A gentle touch or a quick hug can release oxytocin, a hormone that facilitates bonding as well as reduces blood pressure and stress. When you’re feeling tense, an affectionate moment can help you feel closer, loved and more relaxed.

You must know by now that you can’t change your partner. But you can impact their reactions if you shift your own attitude and behavior. As your relationship grows, they may decide to make some changes for themselves – and that will benefit both of you.

Positive emotions can open up new possibilities. Try to let your heart do the talking and commit to small changes that mean a lot. When you bring out the best in each other, you create a reservoir of goodwill. Look at it as an investment in your emotional bank account. Then on Valentine’s Day, and every day, get ready to start cashing in the dividends.



This entry was posted in stress, well-being, your self and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.