Boomerang Kids and Mother’s Day

money-tree-533795Over 20 million adult kids are living at home. Parents who are dealing with this challenge worry about ongoing financial stress and the possibility of having to delay retirement. According to a recent survey, boomers who financially provide for their boomerang Millennials are 25% more likely to have heightened anxiety.

How many times have you told your kids that money doesn’t grow on trees? With Mother’s Day right around the corner, how about asking for cooperation? Here are practical tips to get your family started:

Learn to say no. Don’t put your grown kids’ needs above your own. Teach them to say yes to the circumstances that can grow their savings and independence, even if it’s not exactly what they want to do.

Minimize the tension. Look at your part in family conflicts and, if you want to reduce the stress, everyone needs to take some responsibility. Eliminate toxic topics so there’s  room for more positive interactions.

Redefine what’s enough. Talk to your boomerangs about having realistic expectations so they’re not looking for perfect resolutions. Help them see that they can decide what’s enough. That’ll make it easier to choose some of the options they already have.

Accept and move on. At times you all need to just push through challenges because some things aren’t going to change. Prioritize the issues and then let go for now of the problems that are impossible to solve.

Thinking that you’re always responsible for your boomerang kids can put your economic security at risk. Have a family meeting to talk about your financial situation. And discuss what’s a reasonable time frame to meet their goals. Are they trying to save money, find a job, return to school?

Experts agree that grown kids living at home should add something, whether it’s paying rent, buying groceries, taking care of their own transportation. How will they contribute and what will they get in return? And perhaps on Sunday they’ll make Mother’s Day extra special for you by taking over the kitchen!

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