creating intimacy

This month, we’ve been talking about creating more intimacy with your partner, especially now. Here are some more ideas for you to try on.

If your children now live away from home, you may have more time and energy to devote to each other. Develop or rekindle affection, closeness and romance. Many women find that this can be enormously satisfying in a different way. Fay, an elementary school teacher, has grown to value the companionship in her relationship. “We enjoy rubbing each other’s back, reading together in front of the fire, sharing funny stories about our grandchildren. Who would have thought that would feel intimate?”

Explore techniques of expression that may be new to your relationship. Try different positions for your lovemaking. Studies have shown that an active sex life slows the aging process so your effort will be doubly rewarded. With their son away at college, Joy felt emotionally closer to her husband than ever before. “With the house to ourselves we feel less stressed, more carefree, less inhibited and make love more often.”

Enjoy your sensuality. Have fun with it. Learn about exercises in “sensate focus” as you discover new ways to explore your body. Energy level, body image, physical limitations and the quality of the relationship all play a part in feelings of sensuality and intimacy.

Work with your health professional to rule out physical conditions or the side effects of prescriptions that could be contributing to a decrease in your libido. Talk to your internist or gynecologist about remedies – lubricants as well as prescription medications or creams.

Be patient and take small steps toward feeling emotionally satisfied. Allow yourself the pleasure of slowly learning more and more about your partner, even now. For Lisa and her partner, buying a motorcycle and riding together on weekends was one way of rekindling the excitement in their marriage. “What a thrill – I love it all – the speed of the ride, the wind in my hair, the physical closeness, even being the chick on the back of the bike.”

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